


Overwhelmed

by aethina



Series: my emotions through writing [4]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Anxiety, Basically, M/M, Overthinking, Panic Attack, gon and alluka are just mentionned, my thoughts told through killua
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:47:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28012653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aethina/pseuds/aethina
Summary: Overwhelm/əʊvəˈwɛlm/verbTo have a strong emotional effect on. To be too much to deal with.
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Series: my emotions through writing [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2035879
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Overwhelmed

**Author's Note:**

> i kinda like this one as well, hope you will too!

Killua hates it. The guilt and hopelessness eating him up.

He was used to overthinking, second guessing and hesitating about everything. 

So many ‘ _what ifs_ ’, so many possible scenarios going on in his head at all times of the day and night for as long as he could remember. 

He often felt guilty for thinking too much, for being as engulfed in his thoughts as he was. He could only hope the people he loves knew he _trusted_ them, he just couldn't help the running thoughts.

He was used to overthinking. 

Most of the time, it just played a bit on his anxiety, making his worry more than needed. 

Questioning if the present he had bought for Gon was good enough, maybe he should get him something else…  
Or if Alluka would be okay outside, shopping by herself, maybe he should’ve gone with her, even just for a bit, to make sure...

He was used to it, so he usually found a way out of his thoughts before it got too bad. 

_Of course_ Gon would like the present, he could offer him a simple tree leaf and Gon would be the happiest just from the thought.  
_Obviously_ Alluka would be fine by herself, she was a grown woman now, she wouldn’t need him on her back all the time, and it’s not the first time she went out alone either.

He usually found a way out of these spiraling thoughts. 

Today he didn’t.

It seemed worse, felt entirely worse. He was overwhelmed.

And it ate him up, taking his breath away.

He was _suffocating_. 

His heartbeat is uncontrollably fast. Unable to catch his breath, his eyes watering from the feeling, making his breathing worse, come out dry and unsteady.

The urge to feel pain other than from his dry lungs and throat.

He just needed a way out. Something.

He just wants everything to end. 

He tries to come down from the high of panic.

His eyes shutting tighter, he can’t stop the tears, nor his shaking body but slowly his breath comes back to him.

When he’s starting to breathe normally again, he needs to drink, he mentally notes to himself, he slowly sits up and opens his eyes.

The familiar room he shares with Gon brings him a sense of comfort. Happy memories scattered across the room. He feels relieved. 

He doesn't know what made him unable to escape his thought this time, but he knows having Gon by his side will always help him.

Gon would always be the light pulling him out of the dark.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> find me on twitter @kiliuhan


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